#srsly he can’t emotionally function

[xxsircharlesxx]

What I read:

What I see:

[bigskydreaming]

I will always prefer the Titans (literally any of their lineups, though my faves will always be the first gen Titans, and by that I mean everyone from the original five down through Red Star, Jesse Quick and the like) over the Justice League.

And so like, I’m really big on family vibes in my comic books of choice, so on the one hand I do like and am interested in the fact that over the past fifteen years, DC has given pretty much every one of the major Justice League heroes kids and marriages and families of their own, when previously, they were kept for decades as fairly solitary figures with supporting casts that included love interests but refused to ever let their heroes like...actually commit to any of those love interests in definitive, inarguable ways. (The major exception of course being Batman and his perpetual motion adoption machine, because he lives to screw the curve in any given context, and Hal because he sucks and who would marry him or reproduce with him ever, eww, why. Bring back Kyle 2kforever).

BUT.

On the other hand.

I’m SUPER eternally cranky (and also side-eyeing DC) about the fact that ALSO over the same period of the last fifteen years......DC has systematically killed off or erased every single one of the Titans’ kids, when like, the entire POINT of the Titans and what made them different from the Justice League is that they were more of a family than a superteam, and due to buttressing each other’s emotional growth in ways their emotionally constipated mentors were incapable of, a sizable number of the core Titans had settled down and gotten married and had kids like.....way back while their mentors were still trying to figure out how dating apps worked or whatever.

They killed Roy’s daughter.

They killed Garth’s wife and son.

They erased Wally’s wife and twin children.

They killed Donna’s son and ex-husband (though to be fair, this happened outside of that fifteen year time frame I referenced for everything else, but like, whatever, I’m still mad, Bobby was adorable, you suck DC).

They divorced Mal and Karen before they rebooted continuity with the New 52, FINALLY brought them back in Rebirth, had them married again and had Karen give birth to a daughter....and then promptly wrote them out of any active books and haven’t referenced them in the several years since they did that.

They killed Pantha and Baby Wildebeest, who aside from being Titans in their own right, were Leonid’s long time girlfriend-basically-married-in-all-but-name and basically-adopted kid.

And don’t even get me STARTED on all the shit they did to Grant, who before Geoff Johns decided ‘hey, I’m gonna move him over to the JSA and make him my new favorite torture doll to play with’ was practically Roy’s foster son in all but name.**

And then of course, every few years they teased Dick and Kory getting back together for an arc or two, waved references to their future daughter Ma’ri from the Kingdom Come universe like oh hey remember her (while also bringing over like, every other kid from the KC continuity, like, they made Offspring a thing, they introduced Damian who let’s be real, is basically Ibn, and etc. Like every one of that generation from KC has been introduced into main DC continuity at some point now EXCEPT for Ma’ri. They even introduced freaking MAGOG in the JSA book and used him for like, years. Wtf. MAGOG. Srsly). Because of course, each time they bring Dick and Kory back together they then turn right back around and make a point of writing how psych! Dick and Kory will never ever actually be a COUPLE again, they just sleep together occasionally, because lol right, like they were ever capable of putting their emotions aside and just doing a friends with benefits thing. Its DICK. And KORY. The two most emotional freaking people in the entire DC universe. Kory’s powers are literally FUELED by her emotions, specifically her positive emotions. Dick and Kory are not CAPABLE of dialing down their emotions around each other, that was always their PROBLEM in the first place. But I mean, whatever. 

But yeah. So.

I just find it funny that Clark now has a kid and Bruce has three more kids and Arthur and Mera are having baby Artur again now for what, the fourth time? Seriously, that kid has been born four times, in like four different consecutive continuities. You know, if you guys would quit rebooting shit every five years, one of these times he MIGHT even make it to kindergarten before you regress him back to zygote stage and start that cycle all over again.

But meanwhile, in that exact same time period, DC managed (and felt it necessary) to either kill off, erase or write out the Titans’ EIGHT already existing kids and kill off, erase or write out FOUR of their already existing spouses.

Everything they’ve spent the last two decades building up the Justice League, their ‘main’ heroes to have, the Titans had ALREADY HAD since like, literally back in the 80s. Lian, Baby Wildebeest and Bobby were all born/created back in the 80s, Wally and Linda’s twins and Cerdian were created/born in the 90s, like most of these kids were around for twenty fucking years.

Ugh. Its so regressive and just...bad writing, bad creative decisions, and the more I think about why I have so much trouble getting back into any DC comics other than a couple of Batfamily titles, the more I trace it all back to the complete wipeout of like, the original Titans’ almost entire extended family. Because the Titans, as a unit, were practically a primary family group unto themselves, with their own individual extended families being like, secondary entities at times, by comparison.

And DC just....killed them all off, wiped out an entire generation of children of like, the only group of heroes’ that have ever managed to functionally have and maintain strong family units outside of the ones they originated with.

Whose idea was that? And why?

Its so dumb.

Ugh.

** And you REALLY don’t want to get me started on Kyle and Saarko and how I feel about THAT whole fucking shitstorm of a story. Hey who was it who thought that after everything else you’ve done to Kyle’s character, he really needed you to give him a kid who came back from the future intent on destroying everything and force Kyle to kill him to save the universe and only find out AFTER he did that that the guy he just killed was his future son, who now would never be born because two issues later you decided to have his girlfriend aka mother of his future son find out, blame Kyle, and freaking BRAND him while vowing unholy vengeance upon him and every other Green Lantern for what he’d unknowingly done? Like, seriously. Who came up with that story? I just wanna talk!

****Also, I know that Mirage has a daughter too, but on this blog, we don’t acknowledge Mirage as a Titan, or like, literally anything to do with her, because she’s a rapist and rapists can’t be Titans, its the law.

[loose-leaf-teacanons]

Hi! I love reading your headcanons.

Sorry, I don’t follow the new manga, but sure, headcanons I can deliver. ^^

AoMomo are actually the last out of their entire circle of friends to do… pretty much everything. Get together, tie the knot, have kids, you name it. That’s mainly because one of them is an emotionally constipated manchild and the other is waiting for him to catch up on his “how to be a functional human being” lessons. (/Momoi Deserves Some Serious Effort 2k17)

But yeah the idea of maybe having a kid comes to both of them a good deal later than it does to any of their friends; Aomine’s busy with his pro career and also barely starting to navigate the whole “wow I actually convinced Satsuki to date me holy shit” situation, and Momoi is busy being a badass Career Woman TM who runs her own consulting firm (and manages Aomine’s career on the side bc lord knows he’d put his foot in his mouth on live TV every other Wednesday, otherwise).

But yeah they’d probably eventually try out the whole “being parents” thing after watching most of their friends raise kids of their own and hey, what’s the worst that could happen? (famous last words)

Momoi reserves the right to name the kid because hey, she’s the one who’s been carrying it around for nine months and also she doesn’t trust Aomine not to name the kid “Basketball” or “Cantaloupe” or something equally inappropriate.

(He swears up and down that he wouldn’t, okay, why do you always think the worst of me, Satsu??? and discreetly crosses both names off his mental list.)

He still calls the kid “cantaloupe” as a joke and Momoi just rolls her eyes and makes a mental note to remind him to make it a “secret” nickname before the kid enters kindergarten. (She knows to pick her battles wisely XD)

Anyway the joke’s on Aomine though because once the kid knows how to talk, someone (Kagami and/or Kise and/or Takao) is going to drop the “spray-tanned blueberry” line in reference to Aomine and the kid is just *~*delighted*~* and calls Aomine a blueberry pancake when he’s passed out flat on the couch.

(Probably smacks their palm against his stomach too and starts crying bc dad’s abs are too hard and Aomine wakes up and is all panicked “jfc what DID I DO????”)

Also the kid – like all kids – utterly adores Kuroko, who babysits and/or teaches practically every kid from his circle of friends at one point or another, and who has been on the receiving of way too many panicked calls from Aomine like, “Shitshit omg Teststus you gotta help me Satsu’s gonna be home in ten and the kid just decided to dive headfirst into the oatmeal!”

(“You gotta tell me how to get it out srsly I need to look competent here or she’s never gonna trust me with anything kid-related ever again.”

“Aomine-kun, I will do what I can about the oatmeal but I’m afraid there is no help for your reputation.”)

((Kuroko’s best-kept secret is that he actually receives roughly the same amount of calls from Momoi, though she mostly asks for his help with sensible things like what to do when the baby is teething – “Tetsu-kun can’t you come over and work your sleep magic, pretty please?” – and then uses his advice to act way more confident than she feels in front of Aomine))